Why Adia has Faith

2005-12-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's our first Christmas together and it's not going to be perfect as far as possessions go. We bought our $20 tree and it looks pretty sparse, but we're making the best of it. It's beautiful if only because it is our first tree together. We couldn't buy a real one this time around as we are only home one day a week and we have the ability to kill a whole desert of cactus.

Bryon is doing well. He'll be running the new Baskin-Robbins/Dunkin Donuts that is being built in Sayre. Sunny has asked him to help in the design! He's really enjoying it and I think he's found an incredible opportunity in working for this family.

I'm still waitressing and going to school. Working towards the new year.

In light of the holiday season, I'd like to post one of my personal favorite songs of this time of year. This is "Old City Bar" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's a song that encompasses the season for me.

Happy Christmas!

In an old city bar
That is never too far
From the places that gather
The dreams that have been

In the safety of night
With its old neon light
It beckons to strangers
And they always come in

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The music was low
And the night
Christmas Eve

And here was the danger
That even with strangers
Inside of this night
It's easier to believe

Then the door opened wide
And a child came inside
That no one in the bar
Had seen there before

And he asked did we know
That outside in the snow
That someone was lost
Standing outside our door

Then the bartender gazed
Through the smoke and the haze

Through the window and ice
To that corner streetlight

Where standing alone
By a broken pay phone
Was a girl the child said
Could no longer get home

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The bartender turned
And said , not that I care
But how would you know this?
The child said I've noticed
If one could be home
They'd be already there

Then the bartender came out from behind the bar
And in all of his life he was never that far
And he did something else that he thought no one saw
When he took all the cash from the register drawer

Then he followed the child to the girl across the street
And we watched from the bar as they started to speak
Then he called for a cab and he said J.F.K.
Put the girl in the cab and the cab drove away
And we saw in his hand
That the cash was all gone
From the light that she had
wished upon

If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last

By helping a neighbour
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask

Then he looked for the child
But the child wasn't there
Just the wind and the snow
Waltzing dreams through the air

So he walked back inside
Somehow different I think
For the rest of the night
No one paid for a drink

And the cynics will say
That some neighbourhood kid
Wandered in on some bums
In the world where they hid

But they weren't there
So they couldn't see
By an old neon star
On that, night, Christmas Eve

When the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
And in case you should wonder
In case you should care

Why we on our own
Never went home
On that night of all nights
We were already there

Then all at once inside that night
He saw it all so clear
The answer that he sought so long
Had always been so near

It's every gift that someone gives
Expecting nothing back
It's every kindness that we do
Each simple little act

2005-10-08T07:26:00.000-05:00

Just checking in as it's break, well, the end of break actually, but I thought I should make an attempt at least! I'm enjoying school and doing fairly well. I have the best math grades I've ever had in my life thanks to my professor.

I started waitressing at the London Underground on Market Street recently. It's going fairly well, though it took me long enough to catch on. Usually make decent tips, though no one wanted to dine last night apparently....only made $30 for a Friday! ARRGHH

The wedding plans will not be picked up again until January, when I get a moment. :)

2005-08-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

Name Four Bad Habits That You Have:

1. Thinking I'm right all the time.

2. Lack of Self-motivation

3. Not doing the dishes at night

4. Forgetfullness

Name Four Things You Wish You Had:

1. All of my old cd's from my parents house.

2. A steady decent income

3. A car with license, registration, and insurance handled

4. A farm for my dog

Name Four Scents You Love:

1. Vanilla

2. Sage, Onion, and Poultry together

3. Oatmeal Cookies Baking

4. The Hershey Factory

Name Four People That Know You the Best:

1. Bryon Sullivan

2. Charles Hassler

3. Deborah Hassler

4. Megan Clinton

Name Four Things You’d Never Wear:

1. Short Shorts.

2. Anything skimpy

3. Animal Print

4. Red Lipstick

Name Four Things You Are Thinking about Now:

1. Excited about Bry's meeting on Monday

2. Cleaning the Kitchen

3. Making a grocery list

4. Can't wait to see Bryon

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:

1. Listed some stuff

2. Went to Wegmans

3. Called around looking for a job

4. Read more in my book

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:

1. Milk

2. Starbucks Latte

3. Sundried Tomato Pretzel at Starbucks

4. Shirt at Wal-mart

Name Four Bands/Groups Most People Don’t Know You Like:

1. Journey

2. Metallica

3. Chris Botti

4. Big & Rich

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:

1. Crystal Light

2. Water

3. Diet Citrus Green Tea

4. Latte

First Grade Teacher’s Name?: Mrs. Mathias

Last Words You Said: Idiot

Last Song You Sang?: Sarah McLachlan - Good Enough

Last Person You Hugged?: Mom

Last Thing You Laughed At?: Idiot Martha Painter today. She's this lady who's like 75 but with a brain about 150 years old. She's a freaking fruit loop. Waltzes into the warehouse and starts wandering. She drives me nuts! Not to mention her wig is just never straight....you'd think people would check for things like that before heading out into public?!? She almost walked right off the dock today.

Last Time You Said ‘I Love You’: Around 1 pm

Last Time You Cried: Yesterday

What’s in your CD player?:Sarah McLachlan - Mirrorball

What Color Socks Are You Wearing?: White

What’s Under Your Bed?: Oh probably a hard flour tortilla, a chewed up water bottle, a few bottle caps, maybe an english muffin or two. My dog hordes her findings under there on occasion.

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 8:30 am

Current taste?: Brownie and Milk, made better by the fact that Bry-Bry made them.

Current Hair?: Dirty blonde with natural blonde highlights (the kind from the sun, not a box).....held back by a pair of black shades

Current Clothes?: White Tee Shirt and Blue Jeans, Reebok's

Current Annoyance: The amount of mucas in my face.

Current Longing?: To be able to breathe clearly through my nose

Current Desktop Picture?: The Shelbster

Current Worry?: I won't get the kitchen clean and my mother in law will evict me.

Current Hate?: Snot

Favorite Physical Feature of The Opposite Sex?: His eyes.....and his voice on the phone.....his arms.....he's stomach...oh the list....I can't pick just one!

Last CD You Bought: Surfacing

Favorite Place To Be: Barnes and Noble or Soul Full

Least Favorite Place?: Warehouse in the summer

If You Could Play An Instrument?: I prefer vocals, but I dig that my bros can play guitar

Favorite Color?: Purple and Earth Tones

Do You Believe In An Afterlife?: Depends on the day

How Tall Are You?: 5'7 3/4"

Current Favorite Word/Saying: Decorum

Favorite Season: Fall

One Person from Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back and Talk To: Mrs. Bates

Favorite Day: Everyday

Where would you like to go?: England, Yorkshire to be specific

What Is Your Career Going to Be Like?: To teach English and Literature

How Many Kids Do You Want: 2 or 4

Favorite Car: Chrysler 300c

2005-08-06T12:57:00.000-05:00

Just got back from scheduling my classes. Looks like I've got Monday, Wednesday, Friday, from 8 am to 2 pm booked, with a breakfast break at 9 am. 15 credit hours. Day starts out at 8 with General Pyschology, recommendation of the adviser. We'll see how that pans out. Organizational Behavior is scheduled for 10, another suggestion. Then I've got a straight shot through Journalism, Algebra & Trig, and then finally College Composition at 1....wheew. It ought to be a filling schedule.

My adviser for the day was quite the strange one, but endearingly so. He couldn't get over my middle name. Said it was like music. Apparently, in his opinion I should be going by S. Talia Hassler. He was the type in board shorts and a tank top with hiking books that he promptly removed once seated in the office. He made it simple, explaining stuff to me without the administrative BS. Regardless, it was a fairly good event.

I suppose I'm looking at Syracuse University for my B.A. Bry is looking into ITT in Syracuse as well.....looks right, doesn't it?

2005-08-05T09:31:00.000-05:00

It's official, I'm hitting the books! I've waited for this chance for a long time.....it's almost surreal that it's here. I head up the college tomorrow morning for scheduling and testing. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

In other news, just finished the latest JD Robb book. It was intensely creepy, which is strange for her I think. It had more of a Dean Koontz feel, but was still Eve Dallas at the core. It was the first book of hers that gave me the creeps. I don't want to get into the why, as it would spoil it for those soon to read it, but wow. Not gory, not hugely disasterous, not anything like the other books have been before. It was all so large in scale that it was almost difficult to fathom. You know what, I'm just gonna throw this out there....two words: QUIET BIRTH

Stephanie finally finished with the Harry Potter books...though she has yet to lend me the Da Vinci code. I may very well have to go out and buy it...ugghh..oh well, another trip to Barnes and Noble! I will have to wait though, we don't have the money this weekend.

Anyway, about the Harry Potter books, Rachel now has them, but I'm next on the list. I need to review a few of the older books. I also found a great site for theories and explanations on the literature itself.

Here's one with predictions on book seven: Here
And here's one on Deconstructing Rowling with great explanations of symbolism: Here

I may make the trip to B&N regardless, just to get in the afternoon read of The Hidden Key to Harry Potter. It's pretty interesting to know that a story you just love is filled to the brim with symbolism and deeper meaning. It satisfied my Harry Potter tooth for an afternoon at least!

2005-08-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

I'd like to take a moment from normal updates and posts to show you all something. In light of my brother, Chad, (yes, the biggest asshole on the planet, that's the one) and his ridiculously ludacris weblog, I have decided to introduce a new line of t-shirts just for him.

Before we get to the good stuff, let me explain. If you haven't visited his blog lately, you won't understand. You see....he is a sad, sad, little man with no life and no job and nothing better to do than sit in front of the computer writing commentaries and opinion posts that are mildly interesting. No, I don't think the commentaries suck.

What I do find strange is his ability to remember a miniscule speck of time when someone pissed him off or annoyed him. He then takes that memory and draws a picture in GIMP of the alleged perpetrator. Not only this, but he is sure to include a ridiculously retarded saying on the tee shirt.

You can see a version of me Here

And also one of Bryon, Here

And now for my retort.....

I have nothing more to add on the matter. Go back to your lives.

2005-07-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Just finished Dan Brown's "Angels & Demons". Thanks to Stephanie, a big thanks. Great book, full of thrills, chills, and history that was simply fascinating!

Visited Barnes and Noble today with Bry and Adam. Found myself in the poetry section after a search for a chair came up empty. So of course, I searched for Yeats, my favorite poet. Though I say he is my favorite poet, I really have only ever loved one poem of his. It is entitled "He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven". If you've never read it, you're in for a real treat....
http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/936/

Beautiful isn't it? Though I had searched through more of his works, I found none to it's likeness. However, today in the poetry section I found a book of William Butler Yeats' early works. I found the poems inside this book to be more of the style of Cloths of Heaven. Even more interesting, I found the reasons why the poetry style changed so dramatically from his early years to the latter....no more human a reason, a broken heart.

His early works were filled with dreams of the "old high way of love" for that of a woman who would never return the feeling. In fact, she would marry another.

Though many enjoy and emmulate his later works, (Noble Prize winner) his softer poems are the ones that touch the thread deep in my soul.

Another of my newly found favorites...."When You Are Old"
http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/937/

2005-07-24T23:40:00.000-05:00

Great weekend, long weekend. Went out with Bryon Friday night. It's rare that we actually get out on a date together, and I love it when we finally have those nights. We went and saw Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Bry wanted to see it. We both loved it! Wonka was such a smart ass, and Depp was EXCELLENT! "You're really weird......"

We then hit Denny's to freeze our asses off, god it was cold in there. After dinner at midnight we hit Wal-Mart for grocery shopping. Bryon was with, so of course I spent $15-20 more than I would have, but it was worth having him with.

Started and Finished Harry Potter Friday and Saturday. Excellent of course, but I can't believe the ending. I won't speak any more of it. I knew it would happen at the end of school, just didn't expect that to happen in this book.

Tonight, Sunday, Bry, Adam, and I hit the movie theatre after Pizza Hut. We watched Wedding Crashers. Holy shit, it was so funny it was ridiculous! I mean, we've watched movies that are so ridiculous they are funny (Anchorman), but this was soooo hilarious! "You're just a couple of kids who like to fuck, trying to make it honest..."

Anyway, defintely recommend both movies and the book of this weekend to any and all!

2005-07-21T00:46:00.000-05:00

So it is decided. The business is no longer doing consignment. I am creating a few websites to generate revenue and continue marching on, however, I am now thinking of other things as well. I suppose it wasn't a waste, the last 2 years of my professional life....I truly believe it killed the business bug in me. There is no reason on this earth why anyone should have to work for nothing.
I've decided I'm going to go to school to become an English Education major. Maybe it will inspire me to write a bit too, I don't really know. I just know that today Megan Jo and I drove up to Geneva and back together and had long discussions about little nothings and big somethings. Somewhere is all this mass the future was brought up, my future specifically. Megan asked if I wanted to go to school......I can't remember the last time anyone asked me what I wanted to do with my life without any implications. Really, deep down, I want to teach English. It's weird, I know.

I love books, literature, stories, tales, sonnets, poetry, songs, paragraphs, sentences, language, commas! You get the idea. I love how it's all put together and I love learning about it. The other night Steph and Rachel were up at the house and we were chatting while playing rummy. Something was said about the pronunciation of a word....don't remember which word exactly, but anyway, I told them the vowel-consonant-vowel rule and both didn't know what I was talking about. They were, however, interested to know that rule. I want to show kids that kind of stuff.

My grandmother was a teacher, and I know this is in my blood. I want to be like Mrs. Bates; she could inspire even the druggies to read a book. I love that. I want others to see how interesting it all can be if they'd just give it a chance. There's a book for everyone and everything.

Also, I could be involved in drama, which I adore. No false hope of ever acting here, just would love to be involved!

Anyway, I've spouted my dreams enough, and probably for the first time ever.......for one night.

2005-07-16T18:07:00.000-05:00

J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are
entertaining and imaginative, creating whole
new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you
have a whole league of imitators, none of which
is quite as profound as you are. Stories and
songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your
eternal battle with the forces of evil.

Which literature classic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ha! The sheer joy of being chosen as a novel you truly identify with! Not to mention a story you love and cherish.

2005-07-11T14:05:00.000-05:00

So there's a war going down between my mother in law and me......

The night before the Long Island trip, Karla was in the trailer out back with Jeff watching TV. We (Adam, Sarah, Bry, and I) decided to play on this.

Play One: We took a large brown paper bag, folded the top down and attached a picture of a paper bag on fire and a message that read "Next time it won't be a dud!"

Reaction: They did NOT find this humorous as they thought it was from the ex-wife....

Play Two: We took the broken Pillsbury Doughboy and tied a string around his neck. We hung him from the porch railing and left a note that read:
"We have the doughboys.....yes, ALL OF THEM.....
Muahahahah......
Leave the paper bag on the porch if you ever want to see them again....
And a bucket of chicken.
- Malcolm X
(home slice)"

Reaction: Karla knew it was us and came back laughing. She vowed to get Bryon and I back.

Payback Play One: A few days later.........we find our wireless Xbox paddle hung by a string on the back of our back door.

Reaction: We know it's war now. The Xbox has been tampered with. It's time to get serious. We decide to take a few days to ponder our next move.....

Meanwhile......Adam has GT over and they knock a few back. However, to keep the goods cold they take the ice cubes out of the trays and fill a cooler. All fine and dandy except they neglect to return the ice cube trays!

The next morning......Karla awakens to find her ice cube trays missing and instantly thinks it was me.

Payback Play Two: A note demanding that I "Return the trays or it's war....."
Naturally, I'll go with it since I don't need Adam being grounded too! Adam hides the trays in my closet.

Play Three: Click Here for Our Next Move

Waiting for further reaction.....

2005-07-07T10:25:00.000-05:00

Just checking in. Had a spasm yesterday to say the beloved word "DACHSHUND" and instead, decided on visitng www.dachshund.com. Had a good hearty laugh at this, and be sure to read the text at the top......

http://www.roughdraft.org/Fred_the_Hound.html

And while we're on humorous weiner dogs.....

http://www.notinmybackyard.com/strips/s/nimby19980609.shtml

Bryon and I just returned from Long Island with the band. We had a wonderful time, though it is truly bittersweet. I'm disgusted with the board, but I'm glad to see the little Vona's get some attention!

Next trip appears to be at the end of July. Now I'm off to find out how much Lifetime Movie Network is a month for my mother-in-law.

2005-06-01T10:21:00.000-05:00

Life is improving.

Though the mono caused my spleen and liver to enlarge a few weekends back, it forced me to lie flat for 2 days straight; a definite upside. Since then it has been intermitten and I'm ok with that.

Regardless, I gave a good reference to a business that called looking to employ this friend. Doesn't make me feel any better.

All in all, I've done some things in my short 20 years that I never planned on. However, I am proud of what I have, no matter how little it may seem to others. I'm proud of my family. No matter how much we swear, fight, bitch, moan, etc. we stick together. No matter what. That's important to me.

I'm proud of my future husband and the family I will be a part of. He works hard, he's humble, he's happy without being contented. He's my tallest tree and we still have every bit of passion and love we had this time last year, with only more to come. That's something I'm very proud of. No matter how we came about or where we lived, we don't have a child out of wedlock, we aren't riding on anyone's backs, we don't ask for money, we don't take charity, we still have fun. We're getting married. We're in this together, for life.

I'm proud of my puppy. She's filled a hole in my heart and in our home. She's a royal pain in the ass, but she's beautiful and the good outweighs the bad.

I'm proud of my home and the fact that my future husband comes home to a clean house and dinner that he can feel good about.

My heart still aches for a friendship lost. It's really quite difficult to put into words what I'm feeling....and that's rare for me! I feel guilt for I know it was mostly my fault. I feel dispair for not being able to reach her. I feel frustration for not knowing what to do and not being able to explain my position to a point where even I understand it. I am hurt because I know that I have hurt someone close to me and the eyes that once looked upon me will never feel whatever trust we once had. I feel anger for not being able to achieve forgivness. I feel hurt for the lack of feeling coming from the opposite end. I feel spite. I feel helpless because I know there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

All in all, I'm doing ok.
----------

We're headed out to Brunswick, MD this weekend for Bry's cousin Ben's Graduation. It'll be nice to get out of the state and I welcome the time away.

2005-05-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

Just when you think things are calming down……

Doing pretty well, the mono has been intermittent lately. We were just crawling out of the pit of stress the business has been in when something else happens.

Last night I called my mom as I had cut my last onion out of the closet (I have an apartment and utilize closet space by stringing onions in pantyhose and cutting as I need them). We buy a 50 lb bag and keep them at Mom’s house. Anyway….

I called and my older brother answered. Apparently, my little sister Rachel (16) was coming down the dirt road by our land, skidded, lost control, and rolled our Chevy Blazer. SHE’S OK. She had her seat belt on, and she hit her head on the side window. Other than that she is just sore from trying to push open the passenger side door with a bit too much power (from the adrenaline). She climbed out the back hatch and walked to the nearest house to call my parents. WOW. The Blazer is totaled.

2005-05-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

I've been sick on and off for the past month or two and it's been driving me crazy. I am back on my 10 mg of Prozac after a good long talk with Dad about my family history of chronic depression. I decided that the meds were not about changing or altering my persona or my mood, but about helping me not dip so low on the downhill slopes.....it's difficult to understand for those who don't go through it, but if you were all here, I'd have a chart drawn! My mood is 10x better. You wouldn't believe the amount of good 10 mg can do.

Even with going back on the depression meds I was still getting sick constantly. We're talking 2-3 times a week where I couldn't get off the couch. NOT good for my very hard working soon-to-be-hubby. I don't care who's a feminist and who's not, NO man should have to work 12 hour days and come home to a messy house and no dinner. Needless to say, I was getting fed up with myself.

One day I went to work feeling like total shit again and Mom noted that I had a yellow palor. That was all it took for it to click in my brain. Mono.

I went to Diane, who practically laughed at me for believing that I had it again as it not common at all. So I asked her to take blood and went home feeling like an idiot and guilty as hell for not doing what I should be doing.

2 days ago I got my period 2 weeks early. Talk about scaring the living shit out of me. Bryon had looked this kind of thing up before and knew that it could be caused by a few things. A. Rapid Weight Loss B. Dramatic Change in Diet C. Serious Overstress

I was seriously frightened, so much that I called my mom. (I'm the type who keeps private things very private, even from my mother) She wasn't surprised at all as she had my blood results sitting in front of her. Sure enough, I test positive for mono. AGAIN.

My body has decided that it will do whatever it takes to shut me down because apparently I've overdone it.

I do not want to talk about the stress that has caused it. It will make this already novel a mini-series.

Just know that I'm doing ok. Things are getting better with the business and most of the other fires that were burning are slowly going out. To my complete surprise, I have been on South Beach since the day after Easter, and through all of this have been able to stick it out. I've lost 12 pounds (that I know of), though I haven't been on the scale in 3 weeks. (lack of time) My clothes are fitting looser and I'm feeling good.

Bryon is exhausted, but he's a happy man and that makes me feel just that much better.

Shelby is huge, but adorable and doing well. She stays on a dog run at my parents house throughout the day. Lots more room for her to run. She comes home worn out, thank goodness!

2005-04-27T10:36:00.000-05:00

Well shit has not stopped hitting the fan.

The Elmira store is being moved back to Hornell. Geneva still opens May 1st.

I'm sick, not sure what it is right now, trying to get blood results back.

I'll post more when I find the time and the will.

2005-04-20T06:23:00.000-05:00

Your Aura is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.

You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

So much for that career part! :)

2005-04-13T15:35:00.000-05:00

As shit hits the fan.....

I think that's the soap opera I'm going to tape my life and turn into. :) Life right now is crazy, and crazier than normal.

Bryon is currently working his ass off. He's working at Dunkin Donuts from 6 am to Noon and then we break for lunch together. That's blissful and the best part of my day. Just seeing him for an hour is theraputic. Then after lunch he heads to the UPS Store for 1 pm to 6 pm. Then I pick him up and we head home for dinner together. Not sleeping alone completes me.

Meanwhile, I'm treading water here at the business. eBay kicked us off because we sent a wheelchair to a lady in New Jersey and someone hacked into one of our accounts and sent a Second Chance Offer to the back bidder. The hacker told the back bidder that we were on vacation in England and that she should send a money order to our vacationing address and we would ship the wheelchair. SCAM. Now each of our accounts are suspended because of association. Every new account I start is shut down. So now I'm looking into Overstock and trying to pull something out of my ass. I can't operate without cash and I can't get cash without auctions.

On top of this, Katie just started e-mailing me and finally TALKING to me. I don't have the energy to fight for that friendship and the way things are, I don't know if I have the desire. I know things will never be the same, but I had hoped that things could be good again. I have doubts on that field now as well. There is a lack of understanding between us. We have always been in two different worlds, but now it seems we've stretched to two different galaxies. I only wish that she has a happy life and that she stays safe. To Del I am appreciative for making and keeping her that way.

Started the South Beach Diet a couple of weeks ago. I'm down 9 pounds and doing ok. Got to get myself in better shape for my own sanity.

Trying to make ends meet at home, trying to pull myself out of a ditch at work, leaning on my husband who leans back while we climb the wall.

2005-03-23T16:33:00.000-05:00

You scored as Republican.

Republican

100%

Green

33%

Socialist

33%

Anarchism

33%

Democrat

33%

Communism

33%

Fascism

17%

Nazi

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

2005-02-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

Well, here I go again on my own here in Elmira. Lots of help last week with the kids not having school and Katie being here, I'm still matching pictures from last week!

The weekend was a good time, though a fast one. I've noted that ever since Bry starting working nights time has gone by even faster than before. We've been struggling with those four hours we get each day, but at least we see each other! We definitely don't fight nearly as much, which is to be expected. The plus side of this whole experience is that we're fighting for ourselves, and the struggle is glorious and we're learning the meaning of making every moment count. We're trying so hard to make it so that we don't miss each other even when we're together. It's harder than you think, but I can't think of a better partner for this battle.

Friday night was HARD. I was drained from a week of emotional struggle with Katie and tired and just wanted to have him home. He couldn't stay of course, and I was alright. Just gave Megaroo a call and yapped the night away.

Saturday I arose and headed out the door for some grocery shopping. Stopped at Wegman's and make a mock list, as I forgot the original at the office, over a latte with Lil Sarah. Then we hit the ATM and realized we only had $50! OUCH! So we budgetted BIG TIME and spent only $22 the first time around. So we have $18 to play with before gas and extras. We wrote down what we needed and narrowed it to 5 essentials. We ran back in and grabbed them quick and headed for the checkout. As we're waiting in line I look down and notice that my cash is hanging out of my purse! Oh shit! We get to the cashier and the total is $17.04. DAMN good budgetting on our parts. Too bad we lost 4 dollars somewhere in wal-mart and only had $14.00! So we took off one non-essential and I counted change....GRRR...we were still 3 cents short. I told the cashier and she looked away like...wow, so what are you going to do...? SHE COULDN'T USE THE NICKEL NEXT TO HER REGISTER! I was soo pissed, I mean, I dropped a dime that went underneath the register the first time through. Call the other 7 cents a donation! Damn, the girl behind me gave me a nickel.

Anyway, in other more pleasant Saturday news, I stopped by to see Ken and Kathy and we had a good hour discussion after which I felt much better. Then I headed home to relax and watch movies.

Sunday I took Mary and Sarah to the mall and out to see Man of the House, which was OK in my opinion. Sarah was pissed that they stereotyped cheerleaders...I'm like, DUH! Anyway, then we hit wal-mart for health and beauty stuff and headed home. I helped Karla with her resume and cover letter. She's landed a job at the branch of Guthrie next to the Corning D&D. Nice place, good pay, go her!

We have a set opening date for the Geneva store, April 15th. Woo hoo!

2005-02-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

Great reads......just read something funny on a random blog and thought of a few of my close friends.

For those of you who don't like Desperate Housewives, or Orlando Bloom, you'll really enjoy this "Great Read". For those of you who do, maybe you'll understand why we don't! :)

Check it out:
What's New Pussycat?

Also, one year ago today as I read in my blog......Bryon was told he was being sent home from the Army for sleepwalking.

2005-02-16T13:41:00.000-05:00

Rationality, Common Sense, Reality......these three important ideals are tossed out the window during the first six months of a relationship. The reason is simple, the first six months of a relationship is bliss, drama, "rainbows and butterflies", all of the googly-eyed giddiness that is romantic love.

Girls fall in love with romantic love. That's what makes relationships fun. However, during this time, both man and woman are totally nuts. Therefore, it is important to recognize the symptoms of romantic love.

Feeling something like love for the first time
Butterflies in the stomach
Constant thinking about the person
Loss of focus on goals
"Caution thrown to the wind"
Feeling that you could spend the rest of your life with the person.

....symptoms vary person to person

I realize that I am treating this "beautiful" thing as a disease...but that's only because it is VERY serious.

Don't get me wrong, it IS a beautiful thing. It's wonderfully blissfull. What I'm concerned about is making rash and hurried decisions during the first six months.

Did I say I love you too soon? Of course! Who doesn't? After two weeks I was hooked. We spent all of our time together, or as much as we could. We were wrapped up in finding someone who was really GOOD at romantic love. We had monthly anniversaries and outings weekly. But did I love him then? Maybe. The only thing I know is what I feel know is TRUE LOVE.

Ultimate Trust
Not a care for naivity
Attraction
Laughter
Smiles
Fights and Tears
Kisses anytime it's possible
Knowledge of faults
Knowledge of values
Knowledge of future plans
Similiar Goals
Respect
Sacrifice
The act of give and receive
Feelings that words cannot convey

So what's the difference here? I think it's quite clear.

Do NOT rush to accomplish the above signs or any others. What I'm trying to tell you is not to rush at all. There are eggshells you must step on lightly in relationships. There are canyons you must waltz around. More importantly, there is time these steps must take.

Love is a dance, so many people say this. Most people think it means that love is fun and beautiful and enjoyable, which it is. However, what would the Tango be without 2 or 3 steps? Not the Tango.

What is love without time? Romantic love.

2005-02-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

So I finished Gone too Far by Suzanne Brockmann and now I'm back to my very last JD Robb (before Aunt Karen brings more). I've realized that with some books it's ok to go out of order and with others it's really NOT a good idea.

Like with JD Robb, you know that you have Lt Dallas, Roarke, Peabody, McNab, and Feeney. Other than some minor secondary characters, that's really it. Besides that, the only love things that are going on are between Roarke & Dallas and Peaboy & McNab. Plus, the four characters are so entirely different and matched so well that you know that things won't get mixed up. No one else would be able to handle Lt. Dallas. No one else on earth would want to date McNab. So it's kind of set in stone, at least that portion of the books anyway.

However, with Brockmann things are totally fucked up. She's got so many characters in so many books that are all connected to this one Navy Seal team....but everyone is jumbled! Like the last book, Gone too Far, it basically talks about Alyssa Locke and Sam Starrett. Great, they both want to get together, but Alyssa is involved emotionally with Max Bhagat. Sam and Alyssa had some affair thing way back when and Sam's been in love ever since, but ended up getting a girl pregnant (which she planned) so he leaves Alyssa "to do the right thing". Now they're back together....that would be all fine and dandy except the book that I started right before this one, The Defiant Hero (it's lost at my mom's place), is about Meg someone who was MARRIED to Max Bhagat....whatever, but he had an affair with I think Alyssa Locke. JESUS! I think these books, however good they are, are so much of a circle that they are almost supporting inbreeding! AHHHH.....

Anyway, they are really good books, and I'll be excited when I get more. Oh, it's good to have connections............ :)

2005-02-09T14:32:00.000-05:00

In light of Valentine's Day..........

You Are A Romantic

You are more romantic than 80% of the population.

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

2005-01-27T09:54:00.000-05:00

Stuff, Stuff, and more stuff! So much going on......

Bryon and I are moving into our apartment this weekend. We still don't have a couch, pots and pans, utensils, and quite a bit of other stuff. However, we do have a really great brand new popcorn popper! :)

We are also going back on Mirkin...you know, the way I ate in 11th grade. Whole grains, fruits, and veggies. No meat, not even chicken or turkey this time. We'll have fish and shellfish. We eat like this for 19 out of the 21 meals in a week. I can't wait. Bryon will live, he gets to eat lunch and breakfast out, and I'll buy 3 freebies at the grocery store for him to have at home each week.

We got my car back on the road. I was a pididdle for a little while and a headlight new cost over $100. So Bry Bry saved the day and went to Pick A Part and got one. Unfortunately for my hero, it was the wrong side! However, it was the only one they had and my boy was determined to make it work. He took a day off from work last week and made it fit and it works! My hero may be a bit quirky, but he's got a bigger heart than anyone I know!

We were planning on opening another store in Ithaca, but someone beat us to the punch. No need to fret though, Kylee found us a spot in Geneva, which we'll be checking out tomorrow. I'll let you know how it went.

Busy busy weekend ahead of me, but so excited to be getting out on my own!

2005-01-07T15:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've been meaning to write for a while now, but every time I get a thought this past month, something has come along and changed my mind! I can't get a single thought straight!

Christmas was amazing.

My older brother Chad made me a bookcase out of birchwood and stained it! It's so awesome, he measured my books and everything! Probably my best gift ever from a sibling....and my 3rd favorite Christmas 2004 Moment.

The night before Christmas Eve Bryon and I just sat in front of the Christmas Tree with all the other lights out. Snuggled up on the couch, feeling the real Christmas Spirit....my 2nd favorite Christmas 2004 Moment.

Christmas Eve was good. We got up early and went into work and had a company "party". Bryon and Chad were obviously up to something, and didn't want me to know. We went home afterwards and chilled out. We watched the traditional Christmas Vacation and drank eggnog and blackberry brandy.

After a significant amount of eggnog and food, Bryon and I headed upstairs to bed. I couldn't sleep, of course! So Bryon and I played games and talked and did our usual.....then he pulled a large wrapped gift out of his underwear drawer (of all places....). It felt like a really large book, and I was thoroughly confused. I opened the gift, found a really large book, SURPRISE! It was something about William Krupp. I have no clue who he is either....

On the inside of the front cover there was a written proposal...a beautiful one. I turned the page and there was a little black box. Now, I knew I was getting a ring, but I didn't know when and I didn't know how. I didn't know what it would look like either.....let me tell you, I was in serious tears. I must have wow like 60 times! In fact, I'm looking at it right now. This beautiful, gorgeous 3/4 karat solitaire round brilliant diamond with excellent sparkle and fire set in a band of 14 karat white gold in the perfect size, 7 1/2. Isn't it beautiful? Even in your mind? Wow.....

The most beautiful part is the fact that my future husband is possibly the sweetest, most handsome, most romantic, most adorable, most loving man in the whole world.....My luck amazes me, and THAT is my 1st Favorite Christmas 2004 Moment.

2004-12-08T16:05:00.000-05:00

So it's been a bit more than 2 months.....sorry! Fall and early winter are busy times for this chic.

I recently turned 20 years old and had the best birthday of my young life. Bryon made my day turn into days by arranging for us to stay at the Comfort Inn overnight the night before. We slept in a king-size bed without a dachshund squished between us. Ahh....how relaxing. He tried so very hard to keep everything a secret, but I persisted and couldn't let things rest. He felt forced to tell me. Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot. However I will tell you that NOTHING, nothing could have ruined this birthday.

The next day we awoke and got dressed. Once we got downstairs there was a breakfast buffet type deal. You could make your own waffles.....you know I wasn't passing that up. I sprayed the waffle maker, poured on the batter, did what I was supposed to do. Once the timer beeped I opened the waffle iron...my damn waffle was STUCK! Not just "play with it and it'll come out in bit" stuck, we're talking "mess with the damn thing for 15 minutes and it's still not budging" stuck. Yeah, it was really rather embarassing, but again NOTHING could ruin this birthday.

Then it was off to New Dimensions....where I was surprised with a pedicure (which is beyond wonderful), a back treatment....basically exfoliation and light massage......an express facial.....hairstyle....and make up. It was so relaxing....Harry connick Jr and Frank in the background. It felt like it was set up just for me!

A problem arrose when Bry went home instead of going to the office like he said he would...I ended up walking to the office and finding mom and dad on a whim. However, NOTHING could ruin this birthday.

My dad gave me an amazing flat panel monitor! My desk looks so awesome.....:)

We had cake and did our deal, all in all, a GREAT birthday. I probably have the most amazing guy in the entire world. He loves me and he tries so hard. Sometimes it hits me how much I really love him...sometimes it hits me so hard I have to sit down. Thank God for that dance....

2004-10-05T10:06:00.000-05:00

I just want you to know that I'm appalled at your decision. Based on HATING bush, you will vote for the opponent. You can't explain why you're voting Kerry. Kerry can't explain why to vote Kerry. And you will tell me that you haven't decided yet. You're waiting for a reason to vote. If neither candidate has given you that in the last year, then why vote now? I guess there really is no talking sense into the left.

Let me just explain to you 10 reasons why I'm voting for Bush so that you don't believe I'm just a right wing whacko. If you can come up with an explanation I'd be glad to hear it. I'm trying to understand you.

1. I'm voting for Bush because he commands respect.
2. He is not slanderous.
3. He does not waiver, falter, or flip flop on important views.
4. He will not let terrorists rule our lives.
5. He will not stop fighting until we have won and there is peace.
6. He will not sit down to a cup of tea with North Korea to discuss Nukes.
7. He will protect our country at all costs.
8. He will bring the economy back to where it should be. The economic decline started long before Bush was in office.
9. Because of his tax cuts the top 20% income pay 80% of federal taxes. The poor people are getting a break. I'm one of them.
10. He has a sense of realism and diplomacy. When the French said fuck you, he left it at that. The French and the Germans have noted that they will not engage in discussions with the United States about Iraq should Kerry be President. Bush said fine then we will do it our way. Whatever the hell it takes to stop this hatred, the definition of terrorism.

Here’s why I don’t believe that Bush has fucked up. You will note these as quotes taken from Bush himself. The media has complied that they are correct:

• Seventy-five percent of known al Qaeda leaders have been brought to justice. The rest of them know we‘re after them.

• We‘ve upheld the doctrine that said if you harbor a terrorist, you‘re equally as guilty as the terrorist.

• In Iraq, we saw a threat, and we realized that after September the 11th, we must take threats seriously, before they fully materialize.

• Saddam Hussein now sits in a prison cell.

• The Taliban are no longer in power.

• Ten million people have registered to vote in Afghanistan in the upcoming presidential election. Forty-one percent of those 10 million are women.

• Libya has disarmed. The A.Q. Khan network has been brought to justice.
• I understand everybody in this country doesn‘t agree with the decisions I‘ve made. And I made some tough decisions. But people know where I stand.

2004-09-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

I think my subwoofer is hypnotising my dog.....

Let me paint you a picture. My desk is in the shape of an "L" with the counter along the other side making a "U" shape. The computer is at one end of the L, system on the floor, as well as the subwoofer to the speakers next to the system. Zoe has a blanket bed on the opposite end of the L. She usually sleeps there.

But today I have some Chris Botti playing until Rush comes on and she is sitting next to the system on the tiles, quiet as can be. Every now and then I catch her staring at the subwoofer's little blue light.......

And then I got to thinking....subwoofer.....could it be woofing her subliminal messages? ..........................

I might want to mention that I just finished another JD Robb book, Purity in Death....

Crazy day today. Working on a poster collection with Bry, then we have Athena coming in this afternoon. She'll be bringing me a van full so I'm trying to get through the star wars guy first. Tomorrow will be devoted to Athena's stuff. My parents are coming in to help. Saturday is our Grand Opening.

2004-09-09T21:29:00.000-05:00

Don't trust the side that hates.

Dr. Laura said this of the Democratic Party this week. Don't trust the side that hates. It is truly amazing to me that all of the people who are protesting Bush for his war mongering and hate for the middle east are waging their own war on their own country!

I visit a messageboard daily. I love the women as they are on the same diet and stuck in the same situation I am. You can't beat the support, the laughs, and the information. However, I have noted that the Americans on the board seem to lean more toward the Democratic near Liberal side of politics. AHHHHH! How could this be?

My girl friend recently marched on Washington. I'm ok with this, we've been friends for years. In fact, the bit she was fighting for is something I believe in. I'm Republican, yet I'm for a Women's Right to Choose. There are entirely too many health risks to ignore. However, I am NOT ok with the marches and protests on the GOP Convention. What the hell? Ok, let's wait around all day long to yell and scream for someone you can't stand? Is there that much hate out there? Most of the protestors flashing across the news screen look to be livid with blood aboil! This baffles me.

Did Boston completely flip out with the Democratic Convention? Did they throw stones and tomatoes and rip off their shirts in protest? I can't recall.....it wasn't in the news.....

So yes, I agree with Dr. Laura. Do I believe that all politicans are legit? Hell no, in fact most probably aren't. But I do believe in my President and in his leadership. I agree that you simply cannot trust the side that hates.

On another topic, can anyone tell me why John Kerry wants to be President? Can anyone tell me why he should be President without using the words Vietnam and Bush's Mistake?

If someone tells me that he has nice hair I will literally toss my computer monitor out the window.......

Ok, maybe not THAT extreme. Hey, I am NOT going to lower myself to the liberal level, the hating step.

One last politcal note. George Bush said We Cannot Win the War on Terror. Everyone totally flips.....umm, duh? He's RIGHT. God, does America take EVERYTHING at face value? Do we ever listen rather than just hear anymore?

We won't win the war on terror because it's neverending. It's like murderers and rapists. You tag them one at a time and bring them down, bring them to justice. However, there will always be one more raping and killing. There is no stopping all evil, there is only protection from it and hunting it.

John Kerry cannot promise Peace as his party members cannot practice it.

John Kerry cannot promise the war on terror to stop with his homecoming for the troops.

Do not be fooled however because there is one thing John Kerry can do. He can promise us a world with a "nice looking" President with more hair than brains.

2004-09-02T17:07:00.000-05:00

Why can't America be happy to be here? Happy to be alive and well? Sometimes....grrr...I tell ya.....

My latest letter to Doctor Laura:
Dear Dr. Laura,

You spoke with a woman earlier with a back problem. Her disc had come out 6.5 mm or something along those lines. She was “angry” about it. I wanted to thank you for explaining to this woman just how lucky she is.

My father recently experienced a similar accident. Just after beating kidney cancer he found out 2 of his discs had been ruptured and the only thing the doctors could say was “Morphine” and “Surgery”. He followed their orders and we lost our father while he was on 2 Morphine and 8 Percocet a day. He was loopy and never seemed to laugh as much.

He went up to surgery about 2 hours away, leaving his 4 children at home to run the family business. My mother, his wife of 23 years went with him as well as a few of their closest friends for support. Once he got on the table in surgery and he was put under, his oxygen dropped by 50%. The doctors were confused and brought him around. After running a number of tests and scaring us to death they could find NOTHING; nothing wrong, nothing that would have caused this.

It is my opinion that divine intervention and my grandmother in heaven is what brought him home to us safe and sound. He has decided to lose some weight and get the pressure off of his back. He got off of morphine and again, he laughs.  He is still limited in his abilities, but the pain has really subsided and he has a family that is so thankful he’s home that we’re willing to help him wherever we can.

Thank you for explaining to that woman that she is lucky to be here with her family. Thank God that she did not have to go through the tears, the stress, and the fear of unknown that my family went though. Be thankful you’re here for your family and know that they are grateful to see you each morning.

Thanks
Sarah

2004-08-26T14:26:00.000-05:00

New quiz!
20 Questions to a Better Relationship

My results:
eXpressive: 8/10
Practical: 6/10
Physical: 3/10
Giver: 4/10

You are a XPIT--Expressive Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Manager.

You are cool, thoughtful and intelligent. Your approach and your sense of humor are under-the-radar, your charm is undeniable. You keep everything under control. You have distinctive vocal mannerisms. You may not have much interest in approaching strangers, but when you do, you are successful.

You will probably end up with someone beautiful, fascinating and off-balance.

While your partner may steal the limelight, it's you that keeps things running smoothly and provides stability in your relationship. If you are with someone as contemplative and hard-headed as you, you can have a tough time. Your greatest asset is that you tackle conflict as it rises -- you don't ignore it and let it brew.

If you have a partner that *does* let it brew, it will make you crazy! You can find yourself fighting for two -- trying to anticipate your partner's needs and draw their feelings out -- which is exhausting and, well, not your job.

You would never cheat. You would make an excellent spouse. When your spouse's friends met you, they would think, "Crap, why couldn't I get that one?"

Of the 8630 people who have taken this quiz, 5.4 % are this type. Wow.....I'm in the 5.4%!

That's kind of rare isn't it?

Bryon's Results -

You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear. Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze.

You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes.

Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once.

You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you.

It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything.

When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off. You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type.

If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying.

Of the 8749 people who have taken this quiz, 12.2 % are this type.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bry's a big teddy bear with beautiful eyes, a big heart, and a huge......... ;)

Try it for yourself and let me know!

2004-08-26T11:38:00.000-05:00

Weird.....a lady just walked in to see what we do....totally normal, right? Here's the conversation:

Sarah - "Hi! What can I do for you?"
Church Lady - "Well, I was just looking to see what it is you do. I'm collecting donations for ______ __________ church, but I see that this is not a place to find donations"
Sarah - "We sell collections on eBay for others. Consignment only. Sorry, not looking to make a donation."
Church Lady - "Well, I'll get the word out on what you do. Have a nice day."
Sarah - "You too."

-----------

So I have like 35 Barbie dolls spread out across the front counter at the moment. My project of the day.

My question is....how did she know I wasn't going to donate? Why does this look like a place that doesn't donate to church groups? Do I have that "I don't go to church" look again? Are Barbie dolls sacreligious?!?

Ironic - First to expect hand out is first to judge....

2004-08-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, well Dad went in for surgery but someone decided he wasn't made for the table. Once they got him into the room and under his oxygen dropped to 50%. The doctors brought him back and ran a number of tests, but no problem could be found. Thank you to my grandmother and the big guy upstairs for keeping our big guy here on the ground.

The Elmira store is up and running. Our signs are even up!

Shout out to my girls headed back to school. Thanks for the nights at TGI's, my place, Kathy's house. More memories to keep and hopefully this time I'll get to keep my shoes!

Sunday I spent the day with Bryon and my folks and Norm and Sherry. My parents celebrated 23 years of marriage that day and it was Norm and Sherry's 21st. We went to a concert at Glenora Wineries for a gent named Chris Botti. He plays jazz trumpet and is simply amazing. If you want to hear a sample of what he sounds like, check out http://www.chrisbotti.com/. The site automatically goes through samples of his latest cd.....one which we bought 3 copies of on Amazon.com.

We spent the beautiful day on the side of a mountain overlooking Seneca Lake listening to this crooner without words sipping fantastic wine and sampling incredible cheese. Afterwords we headed to Keith Johnson's house on Keuka for a bit more Botti and relaxation. We ate dinner and drank this wine....gosh I wish I remembered the name....it was amazingly alcoholic and sweet.....Kay P would have loved it. I was toast after one glass!

We took Megan to Garcias' Mexican Restaurant last night. It seems I forgot to remember how every meal I ever ate at Meg's seemed bland. Needless to say, Meg doesn't do authentic Mex!

I took some pics with my new Canon over the weekends and just got them developed. Some are absolutely freaken adorable! Ask Meg! :) I think I'm gonna start a photo album on the web to post pics to....then maybe I'll teach Kathy how to do it too. :)

Back to work I go, we got our new server up today!

2004-08-08T19:08:00.000-05:00

Almost like this is getting to be a once a month thing doesn't it?

Life is crazy as usual.

Elmira store opened on Monday! Wheew it's nice. Just me and the boy. Thus far we've had 2 consignors, and more on the way. We just put the new signs up. I got all the antics documented on camera, they'll be on the website soon. :)

Stop in and see me! We're on Lake Road, can't miss us.

Dad went to Diane's the other day for a pre-surgery checkup and found out his sugar was at 271! NOT GOOD....so I've got Mom and Rachel on South Beach and Dad on a better diet than before, though dieting is like dying to him...His surgery is Tuesday. Please keep him in your prayers (and you know how often I ask for that).

I also must apologize to New Life Printers. I got a surprise call last week from the owner. Apparently, one of his employees was toying on the computer and found this blog...you remember the story, my religon rant...He informed me that they are NOT discriminatory in any way, especially not "freak christian". The lady that treated me like a banana peel has caused problems in the past and is soon to retire. This could get me started on a whole other rant, but I'll spare you and just say, retire BEFORE you burn out. If you need the money, become a Wal-Mart greeter for God's sake! Regardless, THANK YOU to New Life Printers for your visit to our Hornell location and your phone call. I was very flattered. It's nice to see real customer service out there again! :)

I did have a run in with another Hornell business however, and believe me, this one will be posted in the Trib. Actually...when I write my letter to the editor, I'll post it here. Let's just say that a certain bank will never have my business, EVER.

With all the books I've been reading lately (the only way I can seem to chill), I've discovered that the best way to review books is not whether I liked it or not. It's more of who I would or wouldn't recommend it to.....

I recently read "Food and Loathing". Excellent lament. Depressing, yet funny. The end was decent enough to make it all worthwhile. Something I think Megan would enjoy and maybe Kay P.....Megan because of the morbid humor...

Also a recent read...."Sam's Letters to Jennifer" by James Patterson. Another Sparks type, much like his earlier "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas". It was decent, and of course I cried. I read it inside of 2 days, which is very rare for me. I liked it, but I wouldn't recommend it to Megan. I'd recommend this to Kathy. She'd like it, probably cry, but defintely read Suzanne's Diary first!

Also have finished 2 JD Robb's. EXCELLENT as usual. I'm trying to find another series to sink into so that when I get to the end of this one (and yes, D-Day is coming)...I'll survive!

In other words.......I'm taking book suggestions!

Bry and I are doing well. Chad moves out at the end of the month so we get my real room back! He can't wait to have a bed again. :) It's nice to be at work with just the two of us though, and he dresses up everyday. Yeah, he's hot, and allllll mine! :)

Dad just bought a nifty Canon Camera at an auction today....it's got this awesome huge macro lens......I finally let go of my Olympus....it was screwed up anyway, but this new Canon.......I think I'm in love.....Kay P, you up for a shoot?

2004-07-15T17:07:00.000-05:00

And again, yes it's been awhile......

August is basically going to be a time bomb. I think God is testing my nerves yet again.

Dad goes in for surgery on August 10th. It's going to be the 8 hour surgery with 5 days in the hospital. I lose him for 2 weeks here at the office, not to mention my mom will be up there for a couple of days. Plus, the surgery is in Syracuse. He's the largest man in the world to ever have this surgery done, so it's a big deal. They are actually going to flip him over during surgery. Driving to Syracuse to see him is going to suck, but you can bet your ass I'll be there.

Bob blew out his knee in a fireworks accident on July 4th. He goes in for surgery that lasts 7 hours on August 3rd. They're putting bone from a cadaver in to replace the pieces he lost. The doctor has said he's never seen anything so bad.

Megan leaves for college on August 1st. That girl has work ethic, I'm gonna miss her like hell.

We open the new store in Elmira on August 1st. Bryon will basically have to run it solo while Dad's in the hospital, because I'll be running this here.

Basically I'm down a number of employees due to surgeries and leaves. Any of my girlfriends looking for a temporary job, 2 weeks or so, LET ME KNOW!

For those of you who didn't hear, we went to court with the douschbag. The judge pretty much laughed at him. Favor was of the defendent, in other words, us.

I've been sick the past few weeks, but I think I finally am coming out of it. Bryon was sick today. He threw up 5 times....when my boy gets sick, he really gets sick. I'm gonna go home and baby him as soon as I'm done with this.

Chad brought the girl he met on Eharmony home last weekend. She's alright I guess. She just doesn't really seem to mesh well with the family, but I guess that takes some time.

We do have some good news though....now remember, this is still totally up in the air, but a gentlemen from the United Kingdom e-mailed us today and would like to open up a "Grizzly Mountain" over there! That's right, we might go International! But remember, this is business, and sometimes the big deals really aren't that big at all....

I'm reading Food and Loathing right now. I can't remember the author, I just picked it up at Barnes and Noble. I like to do that every now and then, just randomly grab a book by an unknown author and read it. I did that with Richard Paul Evans and really enjoyed his first book, but found the second a bit depressing. This book is a lament and is really quite amusing. She writes beginning in 6th grade, she's the fat girl, but not the really fat girl...kind of like me. Fat, but not as fat as Lora Spencer. It details her feelings on her weight and her self-conciousness. Maybe it's so humorous because I can really relate!

I had to redo my 50 Book Challenge list....I think I forgot one or two...if you notice, let me know!

Hope everyone likes the new look. I thought we needed something a bit lighter.

Wish me luck with the ticking time bomb that is the month of August....

2004-06-14T09:57:00.000-05:00

So much going on......

Judge Joe Brown fell through. The lady called and wanted to know the whole story. We told her and she said that it wasn't scintillating enough for TV. Too bad Chad couldn't have had sex with the next door neighbor's brother's cousin's dog's fish right? I know. She said it wouldn't make it to court, we had already won.

Ahh well, save LA for another day.

So the next big thing happens Friday. Mom and I are in Corning at the Radisson Chamber of Commerce Meeting, Dad gets an e-mail from a guy in San Diego. He owns the world's largest lobby card collection. A lobby card is like a vintage movie poster. He owns 150,000 of them, weighing 5 tons in total and is looking to sell them as one lot. He is looking for a trading assistant to sell them for him.

He wants serious publicity. Nationally sindicated television, newspapers, magazines, the works. This is the big time, and there are a lot of people in the game. I've been put in charge of it and am currently working up a proposal.

If my proposal goes through, should it sell for 1/2 million, (it's worth over 7 according to museums) we would gain $75,000 in profits.

WISH ME LUCK.

Finally, Lin and Meg, I know you can't go to Long Island, but help me in convincing Kay P to go. If Kay, Casey, and I go as a bit of a reunion....we could make it a yearly thing. HELP ME CONVINCE THEM!

Saw The Notebook on Saturday night after a day of shopping with Bryon. I absolutely loved it. They did change one thing at the end, but they did a lovely job! Even the change worked out better I think. Of course, I bawled my eyes out. The movie is beautiful and depicts quite closely what the book is....but as always, the book is better. The movie is a close second though. Bryon....pretended to enjoy it. Aww, what a guy! ;)

Shopping on Saturday was for shoes. Yes, they were on the list. Picked up some $25 Nikes, the first pair I looked at! Then got some chunky black shoes at Sears for 85% off. Also bought a new outfit, book for dad, new sunglasses, and CHEAP stuff at Bath and Body.

Bryon is the pickiest about his shoes. He doesn't care about anything just as long as his feet are comfortable. It's weird, if our feet hurt, we're both crabby!

I've actually taken up Yoga. I've been doing it for about 5 days now and my muscles feel great! Been on South Beach again for 5 days as well! Whoo hoo! Works great for stress levels and weight loss. I feel more like me when I'm eating right.

Made out on the Ferris Wheel at Colonial Days....If you didn't, you seriously missed out!

I'm reading books 17 and 18 for the 50 book challenge. I'm on a roll....sort of!

2004-06-14T09:56:00.000-05:00

Way back in December we took in some items in on consignment for a gentleman. We were just moving in at the time and his contact information was lost in the kafuffle. We sold the items and held the checks, waiting for the guy to call. He never did.

So we still have his checks and we get a letter from an attorney in May. He’s suing us for fraud. Are we worried? No! We then paid the man and asked him to come pick up his rims that did not sell.

He has yet to come pick them up.

Today we get a letter in the mail from JUDGE JOE BROWN. It appears that we, the company, will be flown out to LA to appear on the show for a small civil suit of fraud!

Some of you may be frightened, but we’ve got nothing to worry about here. Should we lose, which is not at all likely as we paid the man and he never contacted us to find out the status on his items, Judge Joe Brown will pay all awards to the Plaintiff.

We get paid for making an appearance and the trip is all-expense-paid.

Is this like totally unbelievable or what?

2004-06-01T19:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm done ranting for awhile. Thought I'd post some news!

As most of you may have noticed, my half naked chic in the daises has been long gone, the pic at the top is a temporary replacement that I quite enjoy. He's adorable isn't he?

Life has been crazy around here as usual. Business is good. This week we have 3 vehicles running! Plus we turned an $85 saxophone into $570 last week. Also selling Medium Format camera equipment this week, we're talking bucku bucks! I'm delving into art, antique etchings and such. Cool, cool stuff.

Hired a new employee and she's doing well. Just wish she didn't have so many boy troubles! :)

Spring is a big time for birthdays in my family, Chad and Dad in March, April for Jake, May for Mother's day and Rachel.....and they say you gain weight over Christmas?!? They're forgetting something!

Dad goes into surgery here at the end of the month. Right now we're waiting to find out if it's 2 discs or 3. If it's two discs he has 5 hours of surgery and 3 days in the hospital. If it's three discs he has 8 hours of surgery, 5 days in the hospital. Surgery will be at Syracuse. Meg, you up for another drive or two? ;)

Jake passed his driver's test.....WATCH OUT!

We had a chicken BBQ in the rain yesterday. It wouldn't have been too bad except we had about 15 people and Dad bought 40 Chicken Halves! Help me, I'll be eating chicken tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, and for the next 100 nights!

Bry and I have started doing the Addison Flea Markets. Come look for our Blue and Red tent!

Sara W. I miss you gal! Hope you're doing ok.

2004-05-04T17:42:00.000-05:00

To my ladies.....

Been meaning to write this one down for awhile, it's one of those that continually builds and builds and you just never seem to find the time to write it all down! Anyway, I'm gonna give it a shot because I think you need to hear it, well, a couple of you at least.

FIND HIM.
Take a chance, no, take a million chances. Put your heart out there for everyone to see whenever possible. Keep it on your sleeve, no no, tatoo it to your arm! If you keep it hidden no one will ever find it.

FIND SOMEONE WORTH IT.
If you deserve to be worshipped, and believe me ladies, you do, then find someone who is willing to jump the moon for you. Find someone who knows you're special, who knows you're different. Find someone who isn't looking for the everyday average "fits into my perfect box" girl. Find someone who is looking for YOU. I'm not saying someone who will "put you on a pedistol", I'm saying someone who is worth your time and who knows that you're one they won't want to let get away.

I can't tell you how in love I am with Bryon....the reason? It grows everyday! It's past the point of believable and into the insane now. Bryon is my lucky charm, my everything!

Let me explain to you a few of the reasons just why I love him....maybe it will somehow help you in your search...maybe not...who cares? Just listen.

He's beautiful...absolutely beautiful from his green/blue/hazel everchanging eyes to his adorable belly button to his cheesy toes!

He's a goofball. No one makes me laugh like Bryon does, well, except Kay P when stealing spoons.

He's got layers. He's sensitive, yet tough. Yep, just like Shrek. He's sweet, yet still an ass. He can play video games all night long and then the next night just want to cuddle.

He's got amazing strength of all kinds. He made it through hell, or shall I say "hells" that I couldn't imagine dealing with and he's still a lovable adorable fun guy! Someone help me to figure this out!

He's respectful. From day one he has respected my boundries and known when to push and when not to.

He makes everything better. When things are bad and I'm spazzing out, his arms seem to be the only thing that soothe.

He is man enough to help me straighten my hair if I miss a spot.

He stays.

He sacrifices.

He is simply amazing.

Note, these are only a small sample of the true Bryon. If I told you the rest I would be dealing with a mob. :)

What we have is more than I had ever hoped for with anyone. For example, last night we were here at the office playing pogo (as we're both addicted and paying for it) and we wanted to do something. Now normal couples would go to the movies, or play mini golf, or bowling, but for us, all it took was a hug that knocked us both to the ground that had us riled up and wrestling the rest of the night. (And I mean this innocently you sick bastards) We laughed for an hour over stupid voices and tickles. We played punch belly tag and knocked each other over a dozen times. Nothing could have been more fun and at the end of it all, as always, he took me in his arms and said "This is one of the reasons I love you".

He is himself with me, and I with him. There are no walls, there are no secrets, there is only us and life standing before us.

I WANT THAT FOR YOU.

PLEASE!!!! Find him.

2004-04-15T09:52:00.000-05:00

Easter was this past Sunday and once again, those with a religion were one step closer to heaven (or hell depending) because they celebrated they faith on that day. Myself, I celebrated my family. We cooked, cleaned, ate, and snored together. It was a relaxing day.

However, I realize that no one in my family got any closer to Heaven on this sacred day.

A lot of people I know have gone to see "The Passion of the Christ" and most have been deeply moved by it. Some even had to rethink their faith because of it. I myself refuse to go and watch it, because I know I wouldn't make it through the whole thing. I've heard in more detail than I had wished about the gruesome scenes of the film and though I understand it is a vital part, I don't believe that I myself have to go and watch the movie. Fact is, no one in my family has made a move to go and see it.

Once again, no closer to Heaven.

Recently I finished a poster for our business and needed to find a new local printer. I ventured over to a place called "New Life Printers" in hopes of getting some prices. I walked in and wasn't greeted by anyone. The lady who came out of her office seemed particularly annoyed to be interupted by such an unimportant person.

At first I thought it was my age, a business woman at 19 isn't common. Then I thought it was my dress code, I wore a black top with a white dressy overshirt, a pair of light blue gap jeans, and some black boots. Maybe she was upset because I have the option of wearing jeans to work.

I stepped into her office, though not invited and stood, though there were chairs, she did not bother to ask. I glanced around her office and noted a portrait of the cross hanging on the wall. I didn't think much of it, only that it was odd to see that particular portrait in a workplace, but then again, I have Lord of the Rings stuff all around my office.....who knows? She looked up prices and wrote them down for me. She handed me the paper, didn't explain much, and literally scooted me out the door.

I was none too impressed with the company at this point. I drove back and told our guys about the outrageous charges and about the rude service. Mom asked where it was that I went and when I told her, she laughed. Apparently, New Life Printers is a religious affiliated business.

OH! So that's why she snubbed her nose at me. It wasn't my age, nor my dress code......no no.....how silly of me. She must have realized that I am the spawn of Satan himself! Gosh, how could I have been so blind?!?

This is the main reason that I refuse to follow a set religion. These people, these believers, these folk destined for the golden gates.......that is all they see! Heaven, must get to Heaven, no matter who it is I have to step on to get there, I'll do it! Whatever it takes as long as I don't have sex before I'm married, drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs, I'm just fine right? RIGHT! Fuck everyone! I'm getting into Heaven!

I can't stand it. I just can't bloody well stand it. You know what, if that's what Heaven means to these people, I don't want to go there!

Give me my family, that's stronger than any religion. I realize that we say the "F" word, we swear, we drink, I sleep with my fiance, we fight. GOD FORBID.

If I were still to follow the Mormon faith, which I did not find out about until much later, I could not be friends with the people I am friends with. I couldn't be friends with the top 10% of my class. Why? Because they swear. Because they drink coffee. Because they indulge in unhealthy foods. Do you see where I'm going with this?

My parents are not crazy people, yet they followed this religion to the best of their faith. We gave it up to move here and yet took the main belief of the Mormon religion, FAMILY IS MOST IMPORTANT.

All religions contradict one another as Bryon loves to remind me of. And I know this, so why does it make sense to follow one? I guess because everyone should have the right to believe what they want to believe.........

OOOPS, wait a second, just wait a second!

Does that mean that if I wish to be Christian and I believe what I want to believe in that religion that I should be able to? That no one should look down upon me because of my religion?

What if I choose to believe another way? What if I chose Satan and become a Satanist......shouldn't I still be able to believe what I want to believe without persecution?

What if.....oh no, I don't find a religion I like, but I chose to live my life my way, and look to spirituality for my faith? What if I chose my grandmother as an angel and believe the she watches me. Should this make me the spawn of Satan?

I don't go to church.........AM I EVIL?!?

People that go to church still committ suicide, rape, drink and drive, and murder.

WTF

2004-04-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I don't get it. One minute Bry's mom is as nice as can be to me, and the next she's being a huge bitch. Bryon stayed at the house from Friday-Monday night. He works at Grizzly Mountain, doesn't have a car, and we ride together. It makes sense for him to be spending a lot of time at my house, right? Apparently not. He also has been hooked on Xbox with Chad and Jake lately, which doesn't bother me cause it allows me to read for my 50 book challenge.

Anyway, so yesterday I was sick and didn't go in to the office. Bry went in and came home to play nurse. She calls and tells him what they are having for dinner that night and hangs up. So then he has to run home and make sure she isn't seriously pissed off. So he gets there, she throws a fit and yada yada yada. Meanwhile he goes upstairs and plays XBox at his own house. Happy now? Jesus. He actually has to ask permission to use the telephone. Believe that? And of course, she wouldn't let him call me last night.

God! I hate head games! And that apparently is all this woman does with her life. We're going to be married and moved out and she's going to be coming up with little games of guilt to play on him and fuck with our lives. Does anyone else see how truly ridiculous this whole situation is? What the hell did I do to her? I have no clue......

Anyway, on a lighter note, Denise is home! We'll probably go out dancing Friday Night......whoo hoo!

Dinner at Ken and Kathy's this week with Kay P is also a possibility. Things are looking up!

2004-04-05T14:47:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile, but it's been crazy as usual in this joint!

Kay P is home this week, and apparently Denise has moved back home as well. Party at Spellbounds! I am itching to go dancing.

Bry's grandfather was in the hospital this week, but it turned out he had 3 ulsers in his stomach from taking too much Aleve. Believe that? That's craziness. He's home now though, hopefully doing better.

My dad is getting a back brace and hopefully a sooner appointment at Dr. Mauer's in Rochester. We were watching documentaries yesterday about patients with the same back problem and new ways to solve them. Right now they are looking at fusion, titanium implants, or artificial disks. Fusion is the most popular right now with the other two being new.

This whole wedding business is a lot busier than I thought it would be. Kay P is my maid of honor and she'll be helping to carry the load, but still, a LOT of decisions to make. Again, craziness.

I'll post pictures of my favorite dresses and the ring soon.

2004-03-24T17:33:00.000-05:00

Well, so you heard the good news.......and now the bad.....

Or wait, I'll tell you about our anniversary night.

Original plan was vetoed due to the fact that you cannot rent a room at a hotel unless you are 21 years of age. Damn....plus, the Days Inn was 90 bucks a night...craziness.

So instead we moved the plan to Hornell.....
Went to Grady's Grill for dinner, got all snazzed up and looking good and had a dinner full of french fries and fat! Classic right?

Then it was off to Wegman's to pick up some food to stock our fridge with.
Here's the list:
Cinnamon Bun Microwave Popcorn
Peeps
Diet Lemon Lime
Dr. Pepper
White Chocolate Tahoe Cookies
Dark Chocolate Cookies
2 Bars Ghirdelli Dark Chocolate
Real Healthy eh?

Then off to the Econo Lodge room 146 to spend the rest of the evening. We took a bubble bath together, much fun, but slightly cold! We talked and talked and talked.....about just about everything. Everything we needed to say. Oh, the stories he has about that place! We laughed and cuddled and basked in the glory of each other's arms. Sad to say, but true. I missed his arms so very much. We played Zelda and watched chick porn on Oxygen and went to sleep.

I tried for an hour, but couldn't sleep. I kept having visions of nightmares. One where Bryon just died in his sleep, one where some guy broke in the room and murdered us, one where we ran out of gas, one where something happened to dad....needless to say sleep was not coming for me. So I woke him up at 3 am and asked if we could go home. And there we were packing at 3:30 and off to my house at 4. Fell sound asleep in his arms once we landed in my bed. Best 3 hours of sleep I've had in 6 weeks.

Ok, now for the bad:

Dad got back from the doctor yesterday. He has spinaltheosis or something like that. Basically, where the two discs are herniated in his back (been that way for about a year now) his spine is crooked. They can't simply remove the slipped discs or his spine will collapse. He ruptured the discs a few weeks ago and is in serious serious pain. He lies on the floor in his office, he can't even sit for long. It's awful. Now it's looking like he won't get to neurosurgery until June.....I'm the only one in the office and the family that knows his job, so suddenly I'm standing in.

This kills whatever time I did have and because of it I've had to leave my job at Wegman's. On good terms, and I intend to go back when possible, but for now it just won't work. I won't miss the work, but I will miss Sara and Brent. To my friends, keep in touch!

Life just keeps spinning around like crazy. No sign of stopping any time soon.

2004-03-22T09:22:00.000-05:00

It's funny how when two people get together they assume it was the same for both of them.....the coming into it I mean.

Bryon and I went to school together sixth grade all the way up and out. I knew who he was, that his birthday was around mine, and that he was really tall.....and that about sums up my knowledge on him. He was always the nice guy in high school, kept to himself a little bit, but I just assumed I wasn't the type he wanted to hang out with. I also assumed that he knew who I was. Turns out I assumed wrong.

He knew of a Sarah, Ryan talked to him about the name. He saw my face regularly. He didn't know the name and the face went together. He thought I was pretty, but didn't know my name. He asked around, but no one else knew who he was talking about when he stated his description. I was his mystery girl. It's weird, I always thought everyone in high school knew my name, or at least in my class! Not saying I was the popular one, but not too many liked me, usually meaning everyone knows you. He didn't. I was a stranger at a dance two Septembers ago when I asked him for the last dance. He had just been dumped by Beth that night and was moping around. I wasn't aware of the situation, but he was Sully, gotta love him right? I just wanted to dance one slow one.

He felt something that night. He had one of those lightbulb moments. Oh, so this girl is Sarah. And with that lightbulb came a little spark. Apparently, what I thought was mocking and harmless fun in the hallways the rest of the year turned out to be his way of "macking" on me. Who knew? I sure as hell didn't!

I felt something Halloween at Ryan's. Ryan, Bryon, and I were in the living room discussing the Goonies. Only us.....I swear.....I wrestled on the floor with the two of them, but felt little butterflies when I felt Bryon's hands. I almost acted on it, but I didn't get any sort of a response....I just assumed I wasn't his type. I'm not too many people's types.

Again, he felt something that night, but he didn't act on it because he thought I was with Soit. WHAT?!?!? AHHHHHHH.....Soit was attention, I took what I could get while still keeping safe distance. I could never....bleck!

It's funny how you remember the little things later on. We could have started a lot sooner....Bryon told me last night while lying in each other's arms that he believes that some things are predetermined. I believe that too. Love is the one thing where I can truly believe in fate. Bryon is my best friend, my love, my life, and my soulmate. He told me that everyone meets their soulmate, it's just the risk and chancing that keeps others from theirs. We got lucky. We were thrown together a bunch of times rather than one. One of those times one of us was bound to take the risk.

Yesterday we hit one year together. Amazing....totally amazing. It doesn't feel like a year and yet at the same time, I feel like I've grown enough in this past year to make up for the last eighteen. We took the jump, the dive, the fall.....and let me tell you, I've fallen. And it's the best feeling in the entire world.

Our anniversary begun Saturday at 2:30 pm when he picked me up from Wegman's. We drove to Hornell because the office needed us. I was cranky and had a massive headache....Bryon never ceases to amaze me with his patience at these points. He took me to Grady's and we ate dinner around 4:30. Fun, right? ;)

Rachel and Adam having been reconcilling or something to that matter and wanted us to cart them around that night. Again, I lost it...damn, I do that an awful lot don't I? Bryon told me not to worry because nothing could ruin what he had in mind. My mom vetoed their request and again it was just Bryon and I, headed to his house for his portion of the plan.

I was told to wait in the chair until he came out and was ready for me. I read my book as patiently as possible. He gave me a thumbs up out the door and I walked in to find 12 pink roses leading up to a large heart made of candles in his bedroom on the floor. (I love pink and white roses, never red) He stood, shaking a bit, and said "I know this isn't how you planned it, but...." and dropped to one knee with a 24k gold, 2k diamond heart pendant necklace........I was floored, totally floored. I didn't speak at first when he asked, it was just crazy! A few moments passed and about 50 yes's came with them.

He knows the ring he wants to buy, he just has to work up to it. He has expensive taste, and it is exceptional might I add. White Gold swiss mechanics to hold a 3/4k diamond in place. He describes it with such love. He is type who finds what he wants and wants nothing else.

I think Zoe should be the ring bearer, don't you?

2004-03-17T13:52:00.000-05:00

He's coming home!

It's finally done, we're out of the water, or almost at least. I'm driving up to Syracuse tonight to pick him up at 11 pm. We'll probably stay up there, because I don't know how it's going to be on the way home...but we'll see.

I'm going with the girls shopping and then off to see him.

Happy birthday to Dad and Chad!

2004-03-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

Only 6 days to go (we think) and still it's getting rough. He didn't call last night, so I still don't know anything official yet. He should have spoken with the commander on Monday or Tuesday. Hopefully I get a letter today, though I haven't sent any lately, just hoping he comes home soon. I don't want to send my thoughts and have him not get them you know?

Anyway, I took my first day off in a long time yesterday and then went to my PT job until 11. It was nice to be able to just be for a day. I even got to work out! Woo hoo!

I need him home, now more than ever. In the beginning I missed his presence, his personality, him. Now I miss all of that and now I miss our romance, his face, his touch, his kiss. I miss US. Somebody pray that he gets to call me tonight. I'm gonna need it.

I have my first photo shoot in quite some time tonight. Three little girls modeling for a cheerleading magazine. Should be fun. :) Wish me luck!

2004-03-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

Finished Glory in Death last night, excellent book.

Went to Road to Wrestlemania with Adam on Saturday. GREAT SHOW! Had a lot more fun than I thought I would. It's amazing how loud it is at those things. Crowd of 3,000, not too bad for our hunky-dory town. Saw HHH, HBK, Benoit, Jericho, Christian, and Matt Hardy. We had a riot.

Kay P left Sunday, Lindsey is now in town. We're going out tonight after work, probably just hitting Denny's. So much stuff to talk about. That's the good thing about having your girls come home every now and then, you never seem to find moments of awkward silence.

Bryon called his house Saturday night and asked for me! LOL! Isn't that just a little crazy? Yeah, that's my boy. He called again last night. They have started his paperwork since Friday and he should see the Commander today or tomorrow, but I won't know until tomorrow. Have to work between 5:30-11 for case night at the deli. This week is going to make me crazy! Anyway....what else is new? ;)

I miss him like crazy, but right now it's looking like he'll be home the 16th....here's to hoping....:)

2004-03-04T10:22:00.000-05:00

Well, we're almost there. The official news came in last night. He's coming home. He saw a psychologist on Monday and a psychiatrist yesterday. The second guy said he wasn't even qualified for the merchant marines because of the sleeping walking. The panic attack he had is also an automatic discharge. Finally, they've put him on Prozac, which is the third reason he must be discharged.

He wants to come home, and to stay home. Originally he wanted to try again in 2 years, but we have discovered that that just won't be possible. THANK GOD.

I know this is crazy, but I just want him here. We're picking this business up, it's coming together. We need to keep moving forward. We need to go to college. We need to find our dreams. And we need to do it together.

We just need to be together, period.

He asked me if I was ok last night. It's funny....the entire time he's been gone, nearly a month now, no one has asked me if I was ok. They've asked how I'm doing and things, but they only want to hear the good stuff. They don't want to be burdened with the bad. Everyone tells me to pull out of this and suck it up, no one asks if I'm ok. Only him. He would be the one to know that I'm just not. Not until he's here again anyway.

2004-03-01T13:54:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile. I have 20 days under my belt and hopefully no more than 20 more to go. This whole ordeal has been totally insane.

Bryon had a panic attack on Friday morning. The DI looked and spoke like his father. He blacked out and woke up in a locker crying. I found out about it Friday night, but he couldn't talk to me because I didn't have my phone on. Damn it. I could feel something was wrong. I knew it, and I don't know how, but I know I could feel it....regardless, I had a rough weekend and had to work the entire time.

Kay P is here this week! WOO HOO! Last night we stayed up listening to Matchbox and Sarah Mclachlan, playing Zelda, talking and planning my one year anniversary...damn it's gonna be good. We made brownies that somehow came out like lambas bread.....Splenda is so weird....

This morning I found out that Matchbox has a new CD out. Hopped on E-bay and snagged a couple for Kay P and me.

Finished Ellen's book, seriously hilarious. I defintely recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor.

2004-02-24T10:40:00.000-05:00

Bryon has called me from a locker in his bunk the past two nights. That's right, stuffed inside a locker with a cell phone...that's my boy! :) I miss him like crazy, but just talking to him makes me feel soo much better. Almost tranquil actually. He's started a craze with this wall-locker deal. Apparently now he and the guys take 15 minute turns in the locker!

Basically, he's sick of the shit. He wants to get out and move on. He's sick of being dicked around, yelled at, and doing PT every other morning FOR NOTHING. I don't blame him at all.

We got our pictures back from Wal-Mart and I've been handing them out this week. They look alright. I sent some to him in wallet sizes.

He ships to Bravo today. Out-processing begins tomorrow as he doesn't leave until tonight. Once he gets settled in there they give him an approximate date of when he'll be coming home. Something like March 15-20. I'll also get an address to send him letters to. He's written one to me everyday, sometimes 2! I'm going to inform my bosses that I will call off the day that he gives me that call that he's at MEPS. Then we're going to make the drive back up to Syracuse to rescue him from the god-damned government.

He cannot try for any other branch with his neutral discharge. Sleep-walking is automatic discharge from military service.......PERIOD.

He's doing alright. He wants to come home. I want him here. I want to be able to hold his hands in mine, to see him giggle and laugh, and to hold him through the nights. I just want him sitting next to me, is that too much to ask?

I finished 4 more pages of the scrapbook last night...working along. Also finished Naked in Death by JD Robb. Working on Ellen's book now. Once I'm done with that I'm diving into the Death series. Also played 2 or 3 hours of Zelda...ahh, I love having the night off!

Also have to get ready for his return and our one year mark! March 21st!

2004-02-20T09:32:00.000-05:00

God damn Government....

Bryon called his mom at 1 pm yesterday. The 3 times he called me he knew nothing yet. She called the Red Cross to find out exactly wtf was going on, and then he called her with the news.

He leaves for Out Processing Tuesday. Then it will take anywhere from 2 weeks to 30 days.....

The God damned Government crushed his dreams. And now we have to pick up the pieces and start over.

2004-02-18T14:58:00.000-05:00

He is being sent home as far as he knows right now. He has a history of sleep-walking, something they didn't ask at MEPS. With that and his childhood background, he is automatically discharged from the army.

Out processing will take 2-6 weeks.

2004-02-18T10:39:00.000-05:00

He's on suicide watch, but he's not suicidal. He's just everyday Bryon, but because of his father and his childhood on top of being homesick they are watching him like a cat and fish. This is insane. They have taken his shoelaces and he is sleeping in the presence of a Sgt.....Dad says he should call again today.

I had to be the one to tell his mother this.

He's in with a doctor now...they are determining whether or not he is fit to do this. If they yes, he starts training next Monday. If they say no he has 30 days of out processing and he comes home.

I'll be sitting by the telephone just waiting for it to ring all day...every time it does my heart goes into speed demon mode....and every time it's not him I sink a little deeper in my chair.

Someone please tell me how to deal with this.

2004-02-17T13:26:00.000-05:00

There is no turning back. Only look forward. Look to our future, look to our dreams. They are on your shoulders now. Just hang on, please, just hang on. Eat! And when it comes a time for sleep, just try to dream of me, dreaming of you. I’ve dreamt of our kids, our wedding, your graduation. All you have to do is make this happen, make it through this. I believe in you, I know you are made for this. I know you can do it. Now YOU have to believe it.

Just think of this as a great big track meet, lasting 9 weeks long. Right now you have 2 days under your belt. That’s almost a week down! The winners circle is where I’ll be standing, with arms wide open waiting for you.

I love you more than anything in the world, but I need you to do this. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me. DO IT FOR US. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and this is going to make us or break us. Please, don’t let it break us. You don’t want to come home. No matter what people say, you will think that they look to you and say “failure”. I don’t want you to feel that. Please. Please just sleep, eat, go to church on Sunday and escape, and do what you must to keep this alive.

When I heard that you called, I broke down into tears. I’m so sorry that you are miserable. I hate this! But on the same hand, I want you to succeed so badly. I want you home, but I want you there. I just want you to be alright. Just be alright, please? For me. Just be ok.

In a few weeks you’ll be calling me every Sunday. Call me at Wegman’s, they have no problem with it.

Please hang in there Bryon, please. You need to do this to prove it to yourself. If your father could do it, you sure as hell can. And you know that. Just believe it.

You’re homesick, and that’s making you sick. Just don’t think about coming home, because it won’t happen. We found that out for a fact. You can’t come home. At least not until you get through this and then I will be with you and you will have won.

Letters will help you. Write to me, it will be just like talking to me. I’ve written four thus far and it has helped me immensely. I know once you start to receive them you’ll feel better.

I have asked Grammy to watch over you and protect you. No harm will come to you, just get through this. Just do this.

I miss you so much my heart aches. But I know this is for us, for the better, and we will be together soon. Remember that.

2004-02-17T13:25:00.000-05:00

Zoe and I love the new bed, but I think she loves it more than me. She was so excited last night, she couldn’t wait to crawl in. She slept on her back with her belly up; it was so cute! It’s a little higher up than the last one. I’ll send you pictures when I get everything in the room set up.

Jeff showed up today. Big mess with his family….I guess he moved out of his aunt’s house and is renting an apartment. His aunt made up stories and lied to us all day long yesterday. Anyway, he’s here, he didn’t quit, and we didn’t fire him.

Jake is taking pictures and stuff while he has the week off, and he’s doing pretty good!

Dad said he really missed you yesterday. He was saying how he needed to hire a man, someone who could do what he asked. Chad was like “You want another Bry-Bry” and dad said “No, I don’t want another Bry-Bry, I want Bry-Bry!”. J Damn we all miss you!

2004-02-17T13:24:00.000-05:00

The office is awful quiet today. The kids have off for winter break and are here in the office. Jake is taking pictures. Jeff has been out sick and has no-showed today. We’re trying to figure out whether he quit or not. It’s really fucking frustrating the hell out of me. You and I were nice as can be to him, how can he do this to us? Damn it all.

You might be a Redneck if….
February 13th – You have a bug light in your house.
February 14th – Your dream home is stuck in traffic
February 16th – You didn’t know you were cross-eyed until you joined the army
February 17th – The most expensive meal you ever bought came with a moist towelette

Mom and Dad bought me a new daybed, made of wood this time, so no more squeaking! ;)
I miss you more and more all the time, but I keep my countdown up and running, spend lots of time at Wegman’s and on the message board, and whenever it gets really bad, I write to you. I think about you being mistreated down there and it breaks my heart. I wish you didn’t have to go through all of this and I hope that even if it’s only sometimes, you are having fun. I know you will do an incredible job; you were made for this. And if all else fails, just remember you are getting paid to be yelled at this time around. I can’t wait to hear from you…
Shauna’s husband says that after the first few weeks you are allowed to call home. GO TO CHURCH. I know we’re not religious, but go. There are no drill sgts at church, no one to yell at you. Just go, please, for me. It will make me feel better to know that you are getting a break every now and then.

2004-02-15T17:50:00.000-05:00

I picked up Kay P after work on Friday night and we grabbed a cup of coffee at Soul Full. I told her all about our Valentine’s Day and our goodbyes and such. And of course, I cried to her. And she wanted me to, she figured it was what I needed, and maybe it was. Regardless, I felt better and came home and slept.

This weekend was her and Matt’s 6 Month Anniversary and Valentine’s Day. Matt had never once been up to see her at college. He had never made the drive. She asked him a few weeks ago to do her the favor and make the drive up to see her and spend time with her. She just wanted him to see her world. She asked him and asked him what they were doing for V-Day or their 6 month anniversary. Each time he said “I don’t know”. He never made any plans for either occasion. She ended up coming down here. She was fairly pissed off Friday night. I told her that he may have been planning something too huge for words and maybe it was supposed to be a huge surprise. I hope he did something for her. Damn….I told her again about our 6 months and how incredible you made it for me. Brent dated Matt’s sister a while back and said that Matt is just……..weird. He comes off as weird to me and there has always been something about him that I just don’t like, and still, I can’t put my finger on it.

Saturday I brought in the box of chocolates for Brent. He spazzed, it was great. He said he thought he wasn’t going to get anything yesterday and was very happy. Everyone in the deli got a big kick out of it. Except Ethel, she made a big deal about how I bought him chocolates on such a romantic day. Damn, that pissed me off. Especially since she’s pushing 40, not to mention pushing pant size 22, and she CONSTANTLY flirts with Brent and she thinks no one notices when EVERYONE does. She also said something about making sure I really do want to marry you before I do. That pushed me over the edge, I’ve been ignoring her since. And believe me Bryon, I want you, and only you, forever. I can’t wait to become your wife.

So last night (Saturday, V-Day) I went home after work, showered and got dressed. I wore the brown stuff, and I thought of you.  I went back to Wegmans a little early and took my portfolio. Jason, the Spanish guy that works in Frozen and the deli sometimes is getting married in July and he needed a photographer. So I had him look at my stuff and take it home to Shannon.
Sara called and said she was running a little behind and so I waited outside the deli. Amanda was working with Melissa (the one who talks constantly). Amanda heard about how Sara called and made a big deal out of it, saying Sara was late all the time and never did anything on time. It kind of pissed me off that she said that because she and Sara hang out and Sara is nothing but nice to her. I told Sara about it and she figures that Amanda is pissed off because Sarah (me) and Sara are hanging out instead of her. Stupid, right?

I e-mailed Amanda when I got to the office after dropping you at the mall. I told her I knew a guy who would like to date her and was wondering if she would want to meet him. She didn’t even fucking reply. Nothing, no comment at work, no e-mail response, nothing. She told Brenda about it and Brenda told me that she was like “What kind of guy doesn’t have a date?”. All the rest of us at the deli were like…….uhh, Amanda, YOU don’t have a date either. But anyway, so nothing goes with the Ken and Amanda situation. And I haven’t spoken to her about it. If she wants to live her life alone and fuck random married men, let it be. Fuck her.

So anyway, Sara and I went to the Olive Garden and got there at about 5:15. The host said the wait would be an hour and fifteen minutes. The place was packed and tons of people were waiting. Chad and Nancy showed up and got their name in at around 5:30. We stood in that lobby for 2 ½ hours! It wasn’t too bad, it made dinner REALLY good as we were both starving. We made friends and had fun in the lobby too. It was like waiting for Disney world, it was so jam packed, like Sardines! I had Chicken and Brocolli with pasta and alfredo sauce. It was excellent. We had Bruschetta for an appetizer.

We talked through the entire meal, and then some. She had never been to Soul Full Cup, so I took her there and she loved it. Ordered my usual Decaf Skinny Latte with SugarFree Caramel. Guess what? Sara is going on South Beach too! Isn’t that awesome?

Through all of the talking it turns out that we have so much in common. We were both extremely close to our grandmothers and believe that they are our guardian angels. We both believe in ghosts and such. Lee’s father used to beat up his mother, and his mother would in turn beat Lee as a child, so they go through the same issues with the past as we do. That really made me feel much more comfortable with her for some reason. I just felt that she could understand. She was raped when she and Lee first started dating….the whole thing with Ryan and the almost-rape. We both love Arbor Mist and we drank a gallon together that night. We had rented movies but never saw them, we just talked and listened to music until 2:30 am. Then we went to bed and I went in at 9:30, she at 10.

She has a chubby black pug named Rocky. He is adorable and incredibly sweet. Makes me want one!

Chad is watching that Japanese MXC thing. Damn it all, there’s no escaping it!

One of the topics that came up in conversation at dinner was college and the future. Every day I long more and more to be with you, always, to be your wife. And I know that “"Girlfriends are a hobby........a wife is a full time job!"”…..;) And I think that I could settle for being a stay-at-home mom just to be with you. At the same time, I want to show to you that I can take the bull by the horns and be my own person. I want to work, but I want to be with you. I guess I should focus on college, but part of me wants to skip college all together! But no, college is my way to go right now....

I ran into Josh at Wal-Mart a few weeks back and talked to him for a few minutes. He called me the other day and wants to record my voice reading a few lines from Romeo and Juliet for his drag show. I guess I will. I don’t know.

I got the photography job to do Jason and Shannon’s wedding July 9th! Wooo hooo!

2004-02-09T13:02:00.000-05:00

One Day to Doomsday.......

Saturday was our valentine's day and it was in every way...perfect. I wanted to do something special for him and he told me he didn't want anything given to him that he couldn't take with him to basic. I figured the only thing that he could take was memories. He also said that he wanted me to plan the entire day. Now, this is was to be his last time "out" with me before he leaves. There was no way I was going to make all of the plans. So I found another way....

I went to Wal-Mart and got a box of valentine's (spongebob) and a few valentine boxes. Then I wrote down a list of places to eat and wrote each place on a valentine and placed them in a box marked food. Another box was full of things to do, like ice-skating, movie, bowling, etc. Another box was full of "love" valentines that allowed for extra kisses and hugs. Finally I made a few Valentines for prizes. Some of the prizes were candy, some were coupons for certain "favors" hehehe......Regardless, I had made the day a game. Anytime he needed to make a decision, he made it.

The day was beautiful. I awoke around 9, got dressed (meticulously picked and approved outfit), had little sister do the eyebrows and makeup....the usual. I went to pick him up (his cars still dead) at his house and an exact image from our first anniversary, there sat a beautiful soft teddy bear with a card on the dining room table.

We went to Applebee's for lunch, picked up pictures and some film at Wal-mart (to save memories), went to the deli to say goodbye, ice skating, soul full cup, got a ticket for running a red light, dinner, wal-mart again, and then to Return of the King for the second time. We went home where he received a full body massage and a few other favors. We turned the lights back on to eat healthy choice PB cup ice cream together. Then we slept in each other's arms yet again.

Yesterday I went to work in the morning, returned to his house and went to dinner at his grandmothers. We spent 4 hours laughing and talking and then went home. He hung curtains from the ceiling, lit candles, and put on "The Most Romantic Classical in the Universe" :). Again, in each other's arms we found solace. He chose to turn in his "Hot Fantasy" coupon that night......his fantasy was to give me exactly what I needed. A night without responsiblities, without time, without obligation. He decided strip poker, erotic dice, and a few other games by candlelight would do the trick. He also unplugged all the clocks. We finished the night with chocolate and old letters and pictures. We were late to work this morning, but it was worth it.

His recruiter was called just a few minutes ago. He leaves tomorrow at 3pm. That's 26 hours away. He'll be gone for 65 days. In some ways I'm ready, just because I know this will make or break us. In other ways, I don't ever want to let him go. I'll find peace in certain things. I'm starting a book of memories for him, there will be lots of work to do with mom quitting her job.....the business will have to thrive, and thrive well. I'll have my job at Wegman's. I'll find peace here, and on CT. I'll be ok, but damn....this is gonna hurt like hell.

Hanging on for dear life..............

2004-02-06T12:56:00.000-05:00

4 Days to doomsday......

Worked with Brent at the deli last night, crazy as usual. Why is that whenever there is supposed to be a storm every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the county feels that they need 6 pounds of Virigina Baked Ham shaved in order to live through it? Oh well, good for business I guess. Went to Bryon's and held him until he slept, which is becoming increasingly difficult for him lately. It's funny, whenever you need to do something, it's that much harder to do it. I usually sing him to sleep, but my voice would not come. I finally whispered the words of our song and whispered a verse back to me, which brought us both to tears.

Have you ever noticed that when your heart is anticipating pain it heightens your senses. Kind of like blind people have incredible senses of hearing, touch and taste....Now that my heart knows he's leaving, each touch feels more, my fingers and skin are more sensitive....it's so odd...

Sara comes back to work next week, I look forward to both of us crying together.

He had his family pictures done last night. We had shots done together earlier and I get them back on the 19th.....I'll be sure to post them on Common Threads.

I'm doing ok today, tomorrow is our Valentine's Day and I hope to make it the best ever. After work at 9 tonight I'm going to prepare...bath, shave, hair, eyebrows, make-up (set up), clothes, everything. Plus the game...hehehehe, I'll fill you in on Sunday.

2004-02-05T09:58:00.000-05:00

5 Days to doomsday.....

Last night I finally lost it. Sara, a good friend of mine who works at the deli with me, and her newly returned Marine husband came into work last night. I had never met him, but Sara and I talk about the boys constantly, so it was important that I put a face and voice to the name in my head. He had been doing recruiter's assistance for 2 weeks and he was still in uniform when they walked in. I asked him where he was going next....for Bryon (Army), it will be AIT after basic, but we all know the two branches have their subtle differences. So immediately I think he took me for a bit of an idiot.

Anyway, he tried to tell me that Bryon didn't have a job yet, which he does. And I know that Lee was only trying to prepare me for things, but I know how the military works, I was almost in it myself! I was never gauranteed a job, Bryon was. He impressed the shit out of those people up there and rightly so. He's never impressed much of anyone in his life, he needed that. I guess maybe if I had told Lee that there are only 11 spots a year for these guys and that he is already set to go to Arizona for 13 weeks after the 9 weeks of boot camp.

I don't know, I was just baffled I guess....I didn't expect someone to come in and stir up my feelings even more 6 days before I was never to see him! AHHHHHHH! ok...I'm ok. I guess I just wanted to be naive, just as long as I can be sane at the same time...

Anyway, after work I took an hour and cleaned my car. It's amazing what you have that you don't know about. 2 bags of clothes, a brand new pair of shoes and underwear, 6 dollars in change, a dollar bill, 2 dollars in bottles and cans and 6 bags of garbage! Yeah, I live out of my car.

Afterwards I turned in the cans at Wal-Mart and picked up a few things for Bryon's Valentine's day this Saturday....sensitive information which I can't expose here because he could be just around the corner watching.....;)

Now here's when I lose it: Driving home, listening to the radio, it's now about 11:30 pm. I'm doing ok, I guess. Start thinking about how it's now only 5 days away and how I am driving to a house and an empty bed 12 miles from him. No, fuck that. Damned if I'll be 12 miles from him while he's still within my reach.

I pulled into my drive, dropped off some bags, said hello to the dogs, and ran back out to the car. I drove over the hill like there was no tomorrow. When I got to his house the door was locked, so I had to fiddle with the hidden key to open it, all the while praying that his mother wouldn't be standing on the other side of the door with a shot gun. I got in the house, Dutchess (his St. Bernard) greeted me to quiet hello. I think she could sense that I was upset.

I expected to find him sleeping soundly as I walked up the stairs. I expected to crawl in and sleep unnoticed, but as I turned the corner, there he was, wide awake at midnight, playing video games (his only pass time). He couldn't sleep either. He looked at me kind of shocked, I dropped my clothes and buried myself in him on the bed. And cried like I've never cried before. He held me until we slept....

How in bloody hell am I going to make it through this?

2004-02-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

6 days to doomsday......Bryon leaves the 10th....we watch him swear in the 11th. Well, the sooner he leaves the sooner he's back right? That's my only sanity right now. Can someone please tell me the easiest way to say goodbye to your best friend?

Last night was amazing. Actually, the past two nights have been amazing....amazingly perfect. We stayed at work Monday night until 3 am. We went home....slept in peace and woke up to a blissfully quiet morning alone in the house and a blizzard outdoors. I had to call off at Wegman's. We revelled in the day, loving each other, reading, video games (his alltime favorite pastime), and just fooling around. We ate dinner, took a nap, woke up and watch Mythbusters together. Then we went back to bed for 3 hours of simple pure love, the best it's ever been. While holding each other our song came on the radio and suddenly there we were, dancing naked in the dark but for the red blinking lights of the speakers, trying to soak each other in. Sleep came in each other's arms.

I've always hated the song, but I keep coming back to Time in a Bottle in my head.....

My family has been really good about this. Letting me sleep in, call off of work for snow (unheard of in NY), late to day job.

In case anyone doesn't know or chooses to care, I run an E-bay business fulltime. We are very........eclectic. I'd say we're doing very well out here. My life at work has turned into a phone call. Each day I acquire new clients with new items. A banjo from 1936 worth more than my house, $250,000 worth of a $800,000 clock collection....I'm amazed at what people collect.

I'm now off to lunch, and the rest of my day. Hope yours is well.