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Thursday, April 15, 2004 - :
Easter was this past Sunday and once again, those with a religion were one step closer to heaven (or hell depending) because they celebrated they faith on that day. Myself, I celebrated my family. We cooked, cleaned, ate, and snored together. It was a relaxing day.
However, I realize that no one in my family got any closer to Heaven on this sacred day.
A lot of people I know have gone to see "The Passion of the Christ" and most have been deeply moved by it. Some even had to rethink their faith because of it. I myself refuse to go and watch it, because I know I wouldn't make it through the whole thing. I've heard in more detail than I had wished about the gruesome scenes of the film and though I understand it is a vital part, I don't believe that I myself have to go and watch the movie. Fact is, no one in my family has made a move to go and see it.
Once again, no closer to Heaven.
Recently I finished a poster for our business and needed to find a new local printer. I ventured over to a place called "New Life Printers" in hopes of getting some prices. I walked in and wasn't greeted by anyone. The lady who came out of her office seemed particularly annoyed to be interupted by such an unimportant person.
At first I thought it was my age, a business woman at 19 isn't common. Then I thought it was my dress code, I wore a black top with a white dressy overshirt, a pair of light blue gap jeans, and some black boots. Maybe she was upset because I have the option of wearing jeans to work.
I stepped into her office, though not invited and stood, though there were chairs, she did not bother to ask. I glanced around her office and noted a portrait of the cross hanging on the wall. I didn't think much of it, only that it was odd to see that particular portrait in a workplace, but then again, I have Lord of the Rings stuff all around my office.....who knows? She looked up prices and wrote them down for me. She handed me the paper, didn't explain much, and literally scooted me out the door.
I was none too impressed with the company at this point. I drove back and told our guys about the outrageous charges and about the rude service. Mom asked where it was that I went and when I told her, she laughed. Apparently, New Life Printers is a religious affiliated business.
OH! So that's why she snubbed her nose at me. It wasn't my age, nor my dress code......no no.....how silly of me. She must have realized that I am the spawn of Satan himself! Gosh, how could I have been so blind?!?
This is the main reason that I refuse to follow a set religion. These people, these believers, these folk destined for the golden gates.......that is all they see! Heaven, must get to Heaven, no matter who it is I have to step on to get there, I'll do it! Whatever it takes as long as I don't have sex before I'm married, drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs, I'm just fine right? RIGHT! Fuck everyone! I'm getting into Heaven!
I can't stand it. I just can't bloody well stand it. You know what, if that's what Heaven means to these people, I don't want to go there!
Give me my family, that's stronger than any religion. I realize that we say the "F" word, we swear, we drink, I sleep with my fiance, we fight. GOD FORBID.
If I were still to follow the Mormon faith, which I did not find out about until much later, I could not be friends with the people I am friends with. I couldn't be friends with the top 10% of my class. Why? Because they swear. Because they drink coffee. Because they indulge in unhealthy foods. Do you see where I'm going with this?
My parents are not crazy people, yet they followed this religion to the best of their faith. We gave it up to move here and yet took the main belief of the Mormon religion, FAMILY IS MOST IMPORTANT.
All religions contradict one another as Bryon loves to remind me of. And I know this, so why does it make sense to follow one? I guess because everyone should have the right to believe what they want to believe.........
OOOPS, wait a second, just wait a second!
Does that mean that if I wish to be Christian and I believe what I want to believe in that religion that I should be able to? That no one should look down upon me because of my religion?
What if I choose to believe another way? What if I chose Satan and become a Satanist......shouldn't I still be able to believe what I want to believe without persecution?
What if.....oh no, I don't find a religion I like, but I chose to live my life my way, and look to spirituality for my faith? What if I chose my grandmother as an angel and believe the she watches me. Should this make me the spawn of Satan?
I don't go to church.........AM I EVIL?!?
People that go to church still committ suicide, rape, drink and drive, and murder.
WTF
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
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Anyway, so yesterday I was sick and didn't go in to the office. Bry went in and came home to play nurse. She calls and tells him what they are having for dinner that night and hangs up. So then he has to run home and make sure she isn't seriously pissed off. So he gets there, she throws a fit and yada yada yada. Meanwhile he goes upstairs and plays XBox at his own house. Happy now? Jesus. He actually has to ask permission to use the telephone. Believe that? And of course, she wouldn't let him call me last night.
God! I hate head games! And that apparently is all this woman does with her life. We're going to be married and moved out and she's going to be coming up with little games of guilt to play on him and fuck with our lives. Does anyone else see how truly ridiculous this whole situation is? What the hell did I do to her? I have no clue......
Anyway, on a lighter note, Denise is home! We'll probably go out dancing Friday Night......whoo hoo!
Dinner at Ken and Kathy's this week with Kay P is also a possibility. Things are looking up!
Monday, April 05, 2004
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Kay P is home this week, and apparently Denise has moved back home as well. Party at Spellbounds! I am itching to go dancing.
Bry's grandfather was in the hospital this week, but it turned out he had 3 ulsers in his stomach from taking too much Aleve. Believe that? That's craziness. He's home now though, hopefully doing better.
My dad is getting a back brace and hopefully a sooner appointment at Dr. Mauer's in Rochester. We were watching documentaries yesterday about patients with the same back problem and new ways to solve them. Right now they are looking at fusion, titanium implants, or artificial disks. Fusion is the most popular right now with the other two being new.
This whole wedding business is a lot busier than I thought it would be. Kay P is my maid of honor and she'll be helping to carry the load, but still, a LOT of decisions to make. Again, craziness.
I'll post pictures of my favorite dresses and the ring soon.